Creative Waves

5/10/25

Creative energy has been surging and receding stronger than a wave my entire life. Certain projects have been in my “idea bowl” (a little glass fish bowl with wood lid) for 3 years now since I made it. The point of this bowl is for when I have no inspiration I should open it up and draw one out like a name from a hat. However, even opening the bowl is a feat of itself and DOING the thing I had drawn is an even bigger one. The ideas left in there are ones I have put off or built up in my head to the point I am afraid to mess them up.

It’s easier to concentrate on things in the morning. In the afternoons I’m usually more overwhelmed – more cars going by outside, more people awake, more people needing things of me, my partner isn’t usually here to body double. I am able to work through it and get some things done, but its a slow, drawn out process with lots of breaks or changing tasks. The evenings are usually more social with everyone now off work and games that can be played, places to go, or life updates to share.

These past weeks I’ve doing more creatively IRL. I’ve been making felt patches, needle felting ( a derpy cat), learning to knit, and crocheting again. I’m pretty confident in my ability to try anything and be OKAY at it, but if I’m not I have a hard time continuing. This was how it was with knitting and needle felting. I started off trying to make a felt cat but got a weird dumpling alien instead. The second time I was able to make a basic round cat, but I learned so much each time I know I can keep doing better. I have a few flat clothing projects that I am more confident in than my skills than 3D felt sculpting. In the process of all of these projects I have had more time than ever to listen to audiobooks. I’ve finished many that I am planning a review section for! Libby and Hoopla for the win – go get your library card!

On the subject of clothes, I feel like I am more myself than ever. I wear whatever I want, even at family get togethers now. I am able to “tone it down” for safety in my small town that can be hostile to anything resembling Trans, but I still find a way to wear what I want. A BIG help with this has been my little sister going out thrifting with me, my website helping me establish who I am/want to be outside of the mainstream, and Kathleen Illustrated on YT giving me all the inspiration. I go to any and all gender sections to shop now. I’ve gotten a few very dirty looks (which my sister loudly told them they need to “F off and mind their own business”) but while mostly going to bigger cities I’ve notice that if someone has a problem, they are more likely to walk away and avoid you through the rest of the store than say anything at all.

Within this clothing inspiration has come a lot of my newfound artistic expression. I can dress more to a vibe that fits my current goals and energies by inspiring myself with outfits. I not only want to customize all articles of clothing to my personal taste, I also just want to do more that makes me feel as good as my clothes. I am planning on making a page about thrifting in shops/the dreaded “Bins,” thrifting FOMO, personal style, DIY clothing, and reselling ethics.

Another thing that has been helping is adjusting my workflow. If I get discouraged by or stuck on something, I change direction. I focus on something else or another part of the project to make myself come back later with fresher eyes. Sometimes an alternating work/break timer helps to keep the pace going. 15 min working, 5 min break works when I’m really feeling unable to focus (I’ve been using Spirit City: Lofi Sessions for my timer and to do lists. It’s essentially a custom Lofi Girl!).

Finally, the other thing helping is limiting social media as I talked about in this blog post. For YouTube I’ve gotten an extension that hides my home feed, suggestions, and ads so that I’m only focused on subscriptions. I've also been trying Kanopy, which only gives me a limited amount of tickets to use so I have to be selective. This has reignited my sense of media discovery while making me more likely to take other irl suggestions. It has also pushed my self discovery and irl focus to a much better place.

There are quite a few projects in line for my attention now with more surfacing almost daily, but I am confident I can figure them all out. If I mess up at all it was all for me anyway and I can still enjoy it.